Introduction
Welcome back, my friends!
I am going to assume that at this point you have clarified your commitment and are eager to roll up your sleeves and get to shifting the context and taking responsibility for what matters to you, whatever that may be.
In this module, I am going to share with you two shift moves that I hope will become second nature to you if they are not already. The first is shifting from entitlement to appreciation. This shift move is the foundation on which all other transformation lives and it is also a powerful preventative of or antidote to blame and criticism.
The second lesson is also about taking your commitment into the realm of action when it comes to communicating, but with a slightly different twist. I am going to teach you the fundamentals of speaking unarguably, and invite you to consciously shift from revealing to concealing when it comes to any important truths in your life.
I intentionally spread out the four methods for shifting the context because I want to give you time to try them on for size, practice, experiment, see how it goes. Each of these shift the contexts methods in and of themselves have the potential to support massive transformation in your life and in the world. One shift move at a time….
See you in the next lesson.
From Entitlement to Appreciation
Module Downloads
Worksheets: From Entitlement to Appreciation & Appreciation Interview
Appreciation is a powerful and often overlooked way to shift the context, especially when you notice you are feeling entitled to anything, and especially when blame and criticism are at all part of your environment. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think blame and criticism are a function of feeling entitled to things being a certain way.
I want you to have the best resources for generating a context of appreciation in your lives. Please complete the “From Entitlement to Appreciation Handout” for any aspect of your life where you notice things aren’t “as they should be.”
Bottom line – LOTS of ways to start generating a context of appreciation, and creating that field in your context. Happy appreciating and don’t forget to include yourself!
Appreciation from Becky Margiotta on Vimeo.
From Concealing to Revealing
Shifting from concealing to revealing is the second method I want to share with you so that you have this in your back pocket for life.
This one is incredibly potent and can take a little trial and error to get just right for you and how you want to be in the world. There are few hard and fast rules about how to do this right and well. The primary one that comes to mind is make sure that you actually want to be closer to anyone you are considering revealing to, even if you are absolutely certain that what you have to say will be poorly received.
Authenticity has a way of generating connection. And many of us have been socialized not to say something unless it is “polite” or “nice.” To which I say – appreciate away – but that’s entirely different from being polite or nice. Ideally in as much of our communications as possible we are speaking unarguably, that is, in a way that cannot be argued with. There are only so many things we can speak about that are unarguable: our body sensations, our feelings, our thoughts, and our wants. Everything else can quickly veer into arguable territory.
In the attached handout, you will have the opportunity to identify who, if anyone, you have withheld an important communication from, and then take you through some prompts to help you identify what, if anything, you might reveal that is unarguable.
If you’re concerned that this is going to be a complete and utter disaster, bring what you think you might want to reveal to our live session and we can workshop it together live. I am pretty good at helping people land on the unarguable nugget, if I do say so myself. It’s something I really enjoy doing and I would be absolutely delighted to accompany you as you endeavor to put your finger on what’s unarguable for you.
An additional concept that I want to make sure I share with you when it comes to concealing and revealing is who you reveal to. When we speak about someone who isn’t present, we’re engaging in gossip, and not only does gossip have the potential to create massive preventable drama in our lives, it’s also a sure-fire way to diminish our own experience of aliveness. Ideally we reveal directly to the relevant party, versus other parties.
There is a LOT here, and the potential for shifting the context simply by choosing to reveal over conceal is a biggie. As you tune into your acorn, and your decision to do something about it (if you did), and your broader commitment that is aligned with what it is you really want…is there anything important that wants to be communicated?