We would like to begin this blog, which posts on Martin Luther King Day, sharing an opportunity to sign up for SVP’s “Anti-Racism for White People” course. It is a year-long learning community for people interested in showing up as agents of racial justice.*** Registration closes January 20th, 2021. Enroll today to secure your place! ***
We shared our self-assessment quiz with you, to help you face into what is holding you back from making your big dent in the Universe. Depending on your answers, you were prompted to consider one of the four most common toxic dynamics that we’ve encountered when working with change leaders: blame/criticism, overwork/overwhelm, indecision, or micromanagement. By the way, if you haven’t taken the quiz, we encourage you to take a minute and do so now.
Regardless of which dynamics are holding you and your organization back, though, it is all too easy to come to the conclusion that the problem is “out there.” And you would be correct to do so. There are real problems that need to be solved.
Today, we confront…
…that’s only part of the story.
If there is anything toxic in our context – and we’re aware of it in any way – then we are also engaging with it – consciously or unconsciously.
When we’re consciously engaged with our challenges, we have a much better chance of actually changing something. We are able to step into 100% responsibility for all our choices and actions.
When we’re unconsciously engaged, despite our best intentions, our problems might morph and shift, but they will persist. The key is to notice when we’re unconsciously reacting and shift ourselves back into presence.
Shifting from our unconscious reactive mind into conscious presence is easier said than done, and we will be going into more depth about this in our facebook live later today, (10:30 AM Pacific Time), but for now I want to give you a quick overview of the three primary ways leaders avoid responsibility on the Drama Triangle so you can get curious about how these patterns show up in your life.
When you think about the biggest organizational challenge you’re facing right now – whether or not it was reflected in our quiz results – are any of these postures familiar to you?
- I’m at the effect of somebody or something else.
- I can’t believe all of this is happening to me.”
- This shouldn’t be happening. And it’s not my fault, it’s theirs.
- Or – equally problematic – it’s all my fault.
- I must do something about this right now.
- This isn’t fair! And it’s never going to change.
- I need to stick up for the people who can’t stick up for themselves!
If any of these stances are familiar to you, what they have in common is they’re all coming from the Drama Triangle. And taking action from this place has zero likelihood of making things better. One of the most important things we can do as leaders is notice when we’re on the Drama Triangle and take steps to get back into full creative presence. We’ll be talking about some ways to do that on our facebook live later today, and if you can’t make it, you can catch the replay later. We hope you can join us there!
We are also offering a free Webinar ‘The Five Secrets to Becoming a Happy and Effective Change Leaders: How you can do the most good with the least drama, during a global pandemic, and still find time for yourself and your loved ones, too.”
There will be two sessions, the first on Tuesday January 26th @ 10:00AM PT and the second on Wednesday, January 27th @ 8:00AM PT. When you register you can choose which time works best for you.
I hope to see many of you there!